"You caught me... I want you to catch others!"

Rueben Banalagay, VU ’11 and Graduate Student

It took years for Rueben Banalagay to darken the doors of the Frassati House.  “I always knew University Catholic existed and remember thinking that Fr. Baker was an amazing homilist.  But I went to Sunday Mass to check the box and quickly scattered,” says Rueben.

“At times, I can remember being deeply inspired – wanting to be more Catholic-- but never fully responding to that urge. I was afraid those guys were way too pious for me.  I was afraid of priests.” 

After completing his undergraduate degree, Rueben stayed on at Vanderbilt to work towards a doctorate degree.

“My faith life was all about the bare minimums,” admits the Ohio native, “and how little I had to do to avoid punishment.”

Rueben found graduate school to be very isolating.  “I could have gone a month without talking to a human being if I wanted.” 

In a grace-of-God kind of thing, Rueben woke up early one day and did something he had never done before.  He went to the Cathedral and asked to speak with a priest.  He met with one who was very kind but referred him to Fr. Fye.  Rueben ultimately found himself at the front door of UCat’s Frassati House, feeling totally lost and afraid.

“Let’s just say I wasn’t in a good spot.  I had developed a lot of bad habits.”

Fr. Fye had only been in his assignment as (then) assistant chaplain for a week or so, but Rueben quickly felt at ease. “Here was this very young priest who had many of my same interests.  He was approachable, kind and proved to be a patient, merciful listener.  He is amazing!” Rueben said.

“I was able to talk with him about anything, and I kept coming back.”

An introvert by nature, Rueben says it takes a while to be comfortable in new situations.  But after that first meeting with Fr. Fye, he started meeting lots of other Catholic students at Frassati House and being greeted by name.  “It felt good to be known -- to be remembered,” he said, with a big smile on his face.

“Fr. Fye gave me a book LIVING THE GOOD LIFE.  I started attending the SYMBOLON series hosted by Fr. Baker.  I was learning a lot, praying more, going to daily Mass and being inspired by good homilies, meeting virtuous people.  It all started to click.” 

According to Rueben, UCat’s chapel is a big help  “just being able to hang out and work on my relationship with the Lord,”  as are what he calls “the incredibly accessible Sacraments" -- with daily Mass, confession, and adoration twice a week.

Soon Rueben was able to abandon his “bare minimum” motto and adopted a “say yes” philosophy, though fear was still a driving force.  “I started coming to UCat events and daily Mass.  I even went on UCat’s visit to Josephinum Seminary though I was (and am) convinced I do not have a calling to the priesthood.” 

That’s why Rueben agreed to be interviewed.  “If I can help others or encourage someone to support this ministry financially, I want to help.” 

Rueben adds, “Before I saw Catholicism as a set of rules.  Now, I’ve come to realize I was on top of a gold mine all along.  I found the treasure hidden in the field. I found out that we actually are the ones with all the good stuff.  This Catholic stuff is correct.”

He says with all sincerity, “I wish I could share this treasure with others.”

Going to the same priest for confession and spiritual direction “is like having an accountability buddy,” says Rueben.  “I could be totally honest with him.  He inspired me to seek the good, not just avoid bad things.  I want that virtue.”

Rueben credits  Fr. Fye as THE right person at the right time to get him on track.  “It was good to talk to Fr. Fye.  I consider him a good friend.  A dear friend.”

The grateful graduate student sees God’s hands all over his life.  “I was an awful student in undergrad.  It’s a miracle that I got into grad school.  I was literally in the right place at the right time.  It’s a miracle that I’m still here.  I see God’s hand in everything:  the high school boarding school I went to, the summer internship I had last year, even when I hit bottom and sought help,” he says.

“It’s like the analogy Fr Fye gave me – it’s like being on a rugged path – head down grumbling – and climbing a mountain.  Once you make some progress, you have that “ahhhhhhhhh” moment.  Wow.  It’s pretty up here.  There’s plenty of road still to go, but look where I came from.”

With that new perspective, Rueben sees that “It is good that I found myself isolated and fearful. Now I know God is loving.  I have a better idea of God – I can begin to have a relationship with Him.  A real one.  He is not a cruel task master.  He is not looking for a reason to smite me.”

He adds, “I’ve been on the other side, and I know that doing good things is good.  Life in the church is objectively good.  There is no downside.  I’m not missing out on anything. This saying yes is a good thing.”

Before he was driven by fear and anger.  “Now I know happiness, love, virtue.  I was just surviving, now I am growing,” says Rueben, who is regularly seen at Frassati House praying, studying, and leading a grad student Bible study. 

“You caught me.  If University Catholic weren’t here, I don’t know where I would be.  I want you to catch others,” Rueben says. 

“I kept UCat –and God -- at arms-length for a long time.  But when things got bad and I needed help, there was UCat.  There was Fr. Fye.  Exactly the right person at the right time to pull me back up.”

Rueben is extremely grateful to University Catholic and Fr. Fye.  “All I did was show up at the door, “you guys were there for me.”   

Rueben (far right) with UCat group in Washington DC at St. John Paul II Shrine.